Why I Chose Love. (Part 1)

"What about your education and track?" "You are so young!" "You are going to ruin your life, our lives, and that baby's life." These are just some of the words I heard after announcing that I was pregnant. I was told that getting an abortion was the right choice, God would forgive me and how hard it would be to be a mother in college. Many people shared this opinion however, very few talked to me about why I should choose love. No one talked about the love I would feel the first time I looked at my daughter, the joy I would feel waking up to her every morning, or how rewarding being a parent would be. No one told me that the tiny human being that was growing inside of me would change my life for the better. No one told be that that tiny human being would give me a purpose.


I remember the day as if it were yesterday, December 26, 2014. It started with an innocent trip to Walmart for puppy pee pads however, earlier that day I found myself running back and forth to the restroom, something that just did not seem normal. As I passed the family planning aisle, something inside of my told myself to pick up a pregnancy test. Up until that moment, I had not suspected that pregnancy was a concern but I followed that gut instinct. As I got home I quickly went to the restroom, pulled down my pants, sat down, and peed on the stick. Those two minutes seemed to last an eternity however, it didn't take long for me to notice that not just one but two pink lines were appearing. I remember thinking it was a joke so I went about the rest of my night as if nothing had happened at all. The following morning I decided to take the last of the two tests. Again, the pink lines appeared. Things still did not seem real to me so I texted a friend and before I knew it we were on our way to the doctors.

"There is your baby!" said the doctor as she pointed to a small gray circle on the monitor. My body was quickly filled with hundreds of emotions and in that moment I couldn't even attempt to make sense of them all. Before leaving I was handed a goody bag. In it I found lotions, body mist, pamphlets, a picture frame for my sonogram, and a onesie that said "I am loved." I was being congratulated for being pregnant, something that seemed to be so frowned upon, especially at a young age and not married. For the next hour or two I paced back and forth, not knowing what to do or who to call. As expected I reached out to my friends, all of whom had different opinions on the matter. I also reached out to Peyton's father, who's opinion seemed to matter the most, at the time.
As expected, his feelings towards the situation varied from day to day. It quickly became very clear to me that the final decision was up to me however, there wasn't much of a decision to be made because in my heart I knew what I wanted to do all along.  I wanted to love.