We made it.

As I sat at the NCAA Championships I couldn't help but think about the past 9 months. It's hard to believe it but 9 months later  and we finally made it. To say that these past 9 months have been easy would be an understatement however, they weren't impossible. Quite honestly up until now I've felt as if I've constantly been on the go and it's true, I have been. There were numerous times that I wanted to quit and give up but I had to remind myself why I was putting my self through all the stress. I had to remind myself that it would all be worth it in end and thus far it has been. 

It all started a short week after Peyton was born. I had no choice but to get back to class, although my professors were all  very understanding. In the midst of trying to learn about this new human being I was now in charge of, I was also trying to master my geology course as well as the other three classes I was enrolled in. That first week back was hard. I felt as if I had missed so much and there was absolutely nothing more  uncomfortable than sitting in class with stitches and engorged breasts. Class only lasted for about 2 to 3 hours each day however, with only about an hour or two of sleep, class seemed to drag on forever. I still can't believe I made it past that first week but somehow we managed, with the help of my grandparents and mom.

For the first month of our new journey I found myself waking up at least 3 or 4 times throughout the night to feed and change Peyton. Then nearly an hour later it would be time to wake up for class. After getting Peyton ready I would scramble to get myself ready and wait for my grandparents to arrive so I could head to class. Class was then followed by a nap with Peyton, a diaper change, and a feeding. This process was repeated 2 or 3 times before bed. Whether or not I showered and had dinner typically depended on my level of exhaustion. I think I showered once or twice within the first week of her birth.... Gross right? While showering was an optional task at the time, homework was not.

As the months went on and after my grandparents and mom returned back to California it seemed as if more and more was being added to our plate. Within the first month and a half of Peyton being born I was back on the track for practice and 4 months later our track season had begun. During that time our days consisted of dropping Peyton off at daycare, class, practice, picking Peyton up, play time, nursing, bath time, more nursing, bedtime for Peyton, and studying for myself.  Now when it came to traveling for meets Peyton spent her weekends with her daycare provider, who is now more like a grandma and a member or the family. Quite honestly, we couldn't have done it without her. 

Traveling for track meets went on for about 5 1/2 months. Those 5 1/2 months seemed to be the longest 5 1/2 months of my life and it seemed as if no matter how many times I had to leave it never got any easier. As a mom I wanted nothing more than to be at home with her but as an athlete and a student I knew there was a job to be done. Finding balance between the two was always hard. In a perfect world I would have gotten to stay at home with Peyton day in and day out but our world was much different than that. In our world our mornings were early, our nights were late, weekends were for travel and track meets (I was lucky enough to have Peyton there to cheer me on at a few), and our free time was OUR time.  It was also important to remember that this was all temporary and soon enough our time would be all the time. 

So how did we do it? In all honesty we had no choice. From the start, quitting was not an option, although it felt as if many people were waiting for me to give up. As a young mom people expect you to quit however, I wanted more than anything to prove them all wrong. I wanted to be a positive voice for myself and other young moms showing that we are not quitters, that age does not define our maturity level and ability to raise a child, and that having a child does not mean life has to stop.When class seemed unbearable I had to remind myself who it was all for. Each and every time I got on an airplane for a meet or in the blocks for a race I had to tell myself "This is for Peyton. Do this for Peyton". I repeated this to myself from the first meet of the season through Big Tens, the regional meet, and finishing up at the National Championships. These past nine months of craziness were all for her and through it all I've learned 2 very important lessons. The first being that nothing is impossible and the second being that coffee is your best friend.